What SHOULD you do to get ready for what you want??

"How can I change my life??" it is a question that pesters lots of people. Have you the sensation of not feeling ready for something and you always ask you why?

There are various ways to prepare yourself for what might come your way, whether that’s a tough work project, a crisis, the loss of a loved one, an argument with your partner, or the zombie apocalypse.

One way is to get everything ready for anything that’s likely to come: get all your survival equipment, prepare your skills, plan for your work projects, get your affairs in order, think through your arguments, and so on.

The trouble with this is you don’t know what’s coming. And so you’ll spend your entire life preparing for various things, and not really be ready. And who wants to spend their life just preparing?

Another way of preparing is learning some skills that will have you ready for just about anything that might come.

This is the survival kit of living.

First, the philosophy: you can’t prepare for the details of every single possible thing that might come your way in the future, because the future is uncertain. Instead, realize that the external events are just details … the real thing to prepare yourself for is what happens internally. And it’s pretty much the same thing. So we’re going to learn some internal survival skills that will help us deal with anything the future holds.

Second, a little prep before you prep: I’ve found that while the external details aren’t as important as what you do internally, it’s still good to have your house in order as much as possible. That means have your finances in order — get out of debt or at least have your debts listed with a plan to pay them off as soon as you possibly can, have an emergency fund, spend less than you earn, invest as much as you can. That means to simplify your possessions and your time. Get your health in order — focus on eating more whole foods (especially vegetables) and less processed foods, get active. Once you have these things down, the rest of life is much, much easier.

The Survival Kit

If you learn these things, you’ll be ready for anything — from regular work and personal events to crises of all kinds, to major losses and life changes.

1. Mindfulness. This is the foundation — without practising mindfulness, you won’t be able to do the other skills regularly enough for them to be useful. You can practice mindfulness simply by meditating — focus on your breath for a few minutes every morning, to start with. As you get better at mindfulness, you will get better at noticing what’s going on inside you as external events happen. For example, if someone is yelling at you, you might be mindful of your body at that moment and notice an increased heartbeat, a panicky feeling in your chest, a hot flush in your face, or something like that. Mindfulness of your body’s responses alerts you to what might be going on in your mind.
2. Watch your internal response. As you start to notice your mind’s responses to external events, you can begin to guide your response. For example, if you are given a large project at the last minute, you might notice your breathing getting shallow and your chest tightening, or your jaw clenching … you can then see that you’re extremely anxious about this, maybe resentful that you’re being asked to do this on a short deadline. You can then examine those responses — anxiety, resentfulness — and decide how to act, rather than being controlled by them.
3. See what you’re holding onto. When you have a difficult feeling, like anxiety, anger, resentfulness, fear (including procrastination) … there’s something you’re attached to that’s causing the feeling. It can be difficult to spot this at first, but with practice, you can see it in an instant. If you’re angry or resentful, there’s an ideal situation you would like and are holding onto, that doesn’t match up with reality. For example, maybe someone has said something means to you … you might be angry because (ideally) they shouldn’t treat you that way. It doesn’t matter if you’re right or not — if you want things to be different than reality, you’ll be angry or resentful or frustrated. Noticing what you’re holding onto is an important step.
4. Let it go. It’s impossible not to ever hold onto certain ideals … but if you see that the ideal is causing you pain, you can be compassionate with yourself and let go of the ideal. Sure, people should treat you nicely, but that’s an idea that’s not always going to be true. Letting go of the ideal means embracing the reality that there’s a wide range of behaviours that people will have, and that’s a part of life. Humans don’t always act ideally. We need to accept that, and not force an ideal on reality.
5. Respond appropriately. Acceptance of reality doesn’t mean you do nothing. It means you let go of the ideals causing the painful feelings, and then figure out how to respond without the anger, frustration, anxiety, resentment. Responding to a person or situation in anger or resentment (for example) doesn’t usually result in a skilful response. If you can let go of the ideal and let the painful feelings go, you can respond more skillfully. When my child breaks a dish, for example, I can get angry (“They shouldn’t break dishes!”) and yell (not skilful), or I can let go of that ideal and the resultant anger, and see if the child is OK, and then calmly and compassionately talk about how to avoid that in the future. That’s a more appropriate response. When we respond in anger or frustration, we only compound the problem. Responding calmly and compassionately means we’re going to be able to deal with anything that is in front of us, whether it’s a crisis or a loss or an angry loved one.
6. Stay in the moment. We make situations worse when we replay the past in our heads (“How can they have done that?”) or think of all the things that might go wrong in the future. In the present moment, things are OK. We can meet the present moment with calmness and compassion if we can stay in the present. That means being mindful of when our mind is stuck in the past or speculating about the future, and returning to the present as much as we can.
7. Be grateful & accept the moment for what it is. Reality can suck if we want it to be different … or we can accept reality for what it is, and be grateful for it. This takes practice because it’s hard to be grateful when you feel you’re being treated badly, or you’ve lost a job, or you’ve lost a loved one, or you’re battling illness. But this is the reality you have, not the ideal you wish you had. And it’s a reality that contains beauty if we choose to see it. This skill makes us much more at peace with whatever we need to deal with.

It might seem overly simplistic to say that this survival kit of dealing with life will help us be prepared for any situation. And it is. But there’s nothing wrong with simplifying things if only to help us focus our efforts on what’s most important.

In my experience, these skills matter. They make a huge difference. Practice them, and see how you’re able to deal with life in an entirely new way.

HOW TO BE CHARISMATIC

What Is Charisma?

Charisma is hard to define exactly, which is why, interestingly enough, many definitions will actually mention that it’s hard to define exactly. This is probably because there are so many kinds of people, with so different personalities that are commonly labelled as being charismatic. What do Gandhi and Oprah have in common? Not much, but they’re both considered highly charismatic. That’s just it with charisma: it’s not one trait, it is rather a label we use to describe a wide range of personality traits. Basically, anytime someone makes us feel warm and tingly inside on a consistent basis, we call that person “charismatic”. The critical thing all charismatic people have in common is a strong appeal to others which enables them to connect with others and influence them at a deep emotional level. For this reason, I think that knowing how to be charismatic is a noteworthy thing. 

HOW TO BE CHARISMATIC:

1. Talk about interesting things (for you and for others!) Does it seem trivial? Believe me, it is not. If I had a euro for every time I saw a man talk about things that did not interest his interlocutor, at this time I would be a millionaire. Let's take Mario (invented name). Mario is working as an engineer and in the last period, he is working on the project of his dreams: the construction of a large plant for the desalination of water. Mario is very surprised by this thing, his work likes and is satisfied with what he does: excellent! One evening he goes out and is out with friends, at one point he joins his group another group of people (friends of friends) and obviously comes out the usual question that you do when you know new people: " What do you do in your life? "Mario begins to tell about his work, and he starts in a 20-minute philippics about water desalination methods. His interlocutors send clear non-verbal signals of little interest, but Mario is so taken that he does not realize it, and eventually he bores them to death. Now, what I think of as a nice little show is something that happens and is not certainly a good example of charisma, indeed !!! Of course, because you can not talk about things that only interest you, obviously you can not even talk about things that only interest others, you have to find a meeting point (Mario as an engineer would call a "subset" (ps I have corrected in the comments, it is an "intersection")) between your interests and the interest of the people in front of you. If there had been anyone interested in damn water desalination Mario would have started talking to him, but he was not there and Mario did not see the non-verbal signals of those not interested. Now, you have to become a genius of non-verbal language reading to understand if you're bored death to others? No, you just notice other people and not be blinded by what you're talking about. A very easy and normal thing, but someone does not do it.

2. Create an interesting life To talk about interesting things, you obviously have to have a varied and interesting life. The topics of conversation do not come from the sky, they come from your life, from what you do, see, discover, read, come from your interests, experiences and passions. I ask you: in your life, there are some things that are worth to be told? I know, it can be a hard question, and if the answer is "no" I ask you: "What are you waiting to create a more interesting life? First of all you have to do it for yourself! "You do not need to be an astronaut who does free climbing in the weekend, in the evening attacks the whalers with WWF, and in the wasted time is the UN ambassador for refugees! of normal passions and interests.

3. Show charisma through your body language.

Your body language can say a lot about how you feel about yourself and can help you seem more approachable to others. The wrong body language can make you look shy or indecisive, so it's important to move in a way that shows you're confident, engaged, and alive. Here's how to do it: 

• A charismatic person stands tall and walks with steady, determined strides. They walk into a room of strangers with pride, ready to embrace a new opportunity. They also gesture with their hands instead of crossing them over their chest.

• Improve your posture. Nothing conveys confidence like good posture. Stand or sit up straight, but not rigidly. When you meet someone, give a firm handshake and look the other person in the eye. Display positive body language while you're talking to someone or even when you're just waiting around. Sit facing the person or people you're talking to, uncross your legs and arms, and keep your hands away from your face. Look at ease, and don't fidget or convey nervousness.

• Think about your own gestures. When you speak, does your body language back you up, or do you look nervous, uncaring, or bored? If you're passionate about something, do your gestures communicate this?

• Practice in a mirror. Watch yourself in the mirror and give a speech or even pretend to hold a conversation. What are your eyes doing? How about your hands? Do you look like the shifty politician or the charismatic one? Could someone know what emotion you're trying to convey even if they couldn't hear you? Practice regularly, and make note of what you need to improve.

• Mimic the body language of those you are conversing with, so that you can get closer to them in a non-verbal fashion. If someone is gesturing a lot, you can join in, while if a person is more reserved, you shouldn't gesture too wildly.

• Look people in the eye when you're talking to them. Don't stare them down, but don't glance around the room or look everywhere but at them. Engage them with your eyes, not just your voice. Don't check your phone, your watch, or look around for other people to talk to because you won't appear engaged.

• Watch how other people gesture. Notice how some speakers' gestures appear fake or out of sync with their message. These people come off looking shifty or uncertain as a result. Other speakers use body language exceptionally well. These are generally the more effective communicators and appear more trustworthy and competent. These people are often successful actors, religious leaders, and pundits. Look for good and bad examples of the use of body language. Pay attention, and learn.

• Smile genuinely when you greet someone. Your smile should say that you're excited about getting to know them.

4.  Fucking Relax!

Every charismatic person I’ve ever known or studied is very comfortable in social situations. They are able to relax around people and have chill interactions, or else they are able to fake it really, really well.

Now, I want to emphasize that this is rare: most people aren’t fully relaxed and themselves in most social interactions, with the exception of those with close friends and family. There is a certain degree of discomfort they feel in social interactions. Learn to get over that, and you send out a radically different vibe.

IT IS EASIER THAN YOU THINK

It is a time when you get a decision that your life changes. This is what happened to me in 2007.
Now, I would like to share the introduction of my ebook, to make you discover the story behind it and the principal meaning of it.
Have a good read.

INTRODUCTION

The purpose of this eBook is revolutionizing the life of boys, girls and their parents, by guiding on how to be beneficially productive, and an individual of Value. Einstein used to say: “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value”.

My name is Emanuele, 28 years old, and pleased with my life. I am a risk taker both in my job as well as in my life, it makes me feel alive. Also, I am an adventurous person in the constant hunt for new activities. Just like anyone in this world, I love doing valuable things for my life, and for other people. My turning point dates back a decade ago when I experienced a life-changing episode of confusion, vulnerability, and pain.

It was the summer of 2007, just after graduating from the fourth class with a score of 8.5 out of 10 (Italian school system). I was a carefree 18-years-old, with a beautiful girlfriend and amazing friends. Down the street from my neighbourhood, the pleasure of the peaceful Italian summer bubbled down the streets where we would ride my pretty scooter along with my friend enjoying the fine scenery and sun warmth.

I then remember deciding on getting a summer job back then for the sake of personal economic independence. Eventually, I managed to land one but even though I was making some upkeep money, my health began deteriorating day by day as my body accumulated bruises, making me weak.

I proceeded to the hospital and signed an appointment with the doctor, carrying the thought that it was a result of effects by the new work environment and that it was a minor case. However, after various checks, the doctor told me: “I’m so sorry, but it could be cancer, we have to wait for the check confirmations”. The words hit me harder than a wrecking ball, in that sudden moment, my heart sunk and words escaped my breath. It was a hard moment, one of those unforgettable days. My grandfather had died a month before for similar cancer, and my thoughts kept telling me I was next. I recall the trip back home from the hospital as if it was yesterday. I reckon negative thoughts paralyzing my body, thoughts of what I would do no more, and how the people close to me, would suffer. I remembered the face of my father. A punch to my stomach.

The DECISION I made at that moment remains engraved in my soul. I decided that I would live a different life, a life full of new positive experiences, and in which I would not care about other opinions from people. I decided to take on the steering wheel of my life my own hands, to discover and implement the right value, and by doing so, become a man capable of helping people.

In Order to Help People, You Need to Have A Great Personal, Economic, And Relational Value, which is the reason I decided to dedicate my life to searching these values.

This eBook has the principal scope to find the right KEY to be productive and not let your life slip through your hands.

Being productive means knowing how to organize our own time in order to get specific results, be they scholastic, professional or physical.

Unfortunately, most of our time is spent fixing a screen, watching useless videos, news with no sense and mostly observing the “beautiful life” of others.

The way to bring back your life in your hands is focusing on the important things that count. Also, by spending our lovely life doing what brings VALUE to our existence.

VALUE…is almost a forgotten word… VALUE should be our word, our research, and our reason for existence. 

CHECK IT OUT ON AMAZON⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This ebook is the perfect mix of western auto-motivation theories and organization techniques with the philosophy of Continuous improvement Kaizen.
What will you discover?
- How to organise your activities as the best possible.
- How to be motivated, also in moments of greater discouragement.
- How to improve, day by day, step by step, without stopping.
- How to recognise who you really are and who want to be.
- How to achieve your goals with serenity, security and awareness and increase your personal, economic and relational value.
- How to solve problems.
The main goal is to turn you in the best version of yourself.

I do not know for sure if that's what you were looking, but if you think you deserve more from life, this ebook/manual is the one that is right for you. Remember Small Decisions Make Big Life Changes.❤❤❤

The beautiful of changing

“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future”~ John F. Kennedy

Do you know what? Changes are good.

Habitually, we are so unenthusiastic towards change that we entirely ignore its beauty. We sense that change could be harmful and so we desist from taking risks. We see only the negative and are afraid of embracing the good that might come from it. We entirely are unable to call to mind that transformation is not always bad.

How many times did you happen that suddenly you wanted to start something new but you didn’t move forward, because you were stacked in your comfort zone? Because was so difficult for you!  Yes, the initial stages are definitely challenging but if these challenges are accepted gracefully than the result can be sweetly delicious. New crops don’t grow until the old are removed.

How much changing is important in our life? Also a little change, like changing the hair cutting, brings in our life that wonderful sensation. The beautiful of changing is a NEW ENERGY THAT YOU RECEIVE.

People are always diffident about accepting change. The day we comprehend, we need continuously and consciously to keep changing; we will evolve into a happier being. The problem is that we want to stay with the past and shy away from the new because we constantly associate change with pain and grief. We keep talking about the past, living in the past, thinking in the past and the result is ultimately sorrow.

Our worst problem is that we go back to our own routines, especially when the motivation disappeared. We never ask ourselves: Did we really change our thought route? Did we leave our past and start living in the present to rectify the future? Mostly the answer is “No.” 

In the end, change is beautiful

Change is beautiful and inevitable. It is easier to accept when it is not forced upon us and we choose to initiate it in our lives ourselves. Don’t be afraid to change. You could lose somewhat good in order to gain something better. The beauty of change remains in its reliability. If we let the change “change” us, only then the natural cycle to move smoothly. The more we resist, the more we lose its sweetness.

AUDENTES FORTUNA IUVAT!

Everyone has phrases that can motivate, lead ourselves. 

One of my favourite phrases is AUDENTES FORTUNA IUVAT, the fortune favours the bold.

Everyone has phrases that can motivate, lead ourselves. 

Why? I think in this phrase there is a  truth. To succeed with your goals you have to have a mix of ignorance, that can help you to not think about what might be wrong with your life and the right attitude that can boost your performance. Remember my list to succeed? Right attitude, means act with confidence, can help you to have better performances in whatever you are doing at that time.

To more...share and AD MAIORA!!